It is not possible to nurture our children harmoniously if they are more than one. A better lifestyle with a little wealthy standard aggravates the disharmony. All the four kids, as of mine, have different mindset with obvious divergent behavior and attitude. My grandmother used to say in her own style “All the five fingers are not equal” and luckily she had five sons too.
I have two sons and two daughters; naturally they too are of different nature. One of my sons is of demanding and commanding nature; the fact came in to my knowledge at 3rd. birthday of his one year younger brother. My brother-in-law arrived a bit late from Islamabad to attend the ceremony in Karachi, for some reasons could not bring the gift, hence asked the celebrity of the day about his choice preference gift. He requested for just a plastic ball hesitantly, but the elder son of mine demanded a remote control toy car for himself as well. I still remember that moment as this demanding and convincing attitude of his persists even today while he is thirty-seven years of age, married and having ten years old daughter. I don’t understand why I can’t reject his demand, proposal or suggestion in any matter right away or even after arguments. He not only has extra ordinary convincing power but his responsive behavior is always so polite that it does not make me angry. He knows the technique and fully concentrates at his will of taking the issue to last stage according to his personal will. Unfortunately he did not apply all these qualities in getting education and remained focused on doing business mostly from my account.
He moved to Chicago after attending eleventh grade, did odd jobs there, attended four semesters of computer science and finally started a restaurant business in partnership of a friend who kicked him out when he returned from hospital after fifteen days.
(Roosevelt Av. Lombard-ILL. 1999-2001)
He stayed in hospital to take care of her mother who went through a surgery but couldn’t survive. I called him back and invested a hell of an amount to build and run a five-star restaurant in a posh area of Karachi.
(5th. Zamzama Street, Clifton-Karachi, 2002-2004)
Just after two years the whole business was taken over by gangsters on gun point and we were on the road fighting for bread and butter to survive as I was retired within a year from my permanent job of Pakistan International Airlines after serving as Maintenance Manager for 41 years.
All above happenings shattered all of us while my son, the true story is about, suffered a nervous breakdown, diagnosed as bi-polar patient. Psychiatrist told me that he cannot do any job even after treatment. I studied on internet for months regarding these types of patients, their treatment and about their future. I was too disappointed but made my mission to enable him for living a normal life. Being a single parent, I did his psychotherapy / counseling 24/7/365. My other children helped me extra ordinarily by all means and after eight years, learned a lesson:
” We should try to say NO to our demanding / commanding offsprings very often. Medicine only keeps bipolar patients stable but family members’ counseling helps them to stand up again for making a living as my son has started a mini scale restaurant once again”.
(Khayaban-e-Saadi, Clifton Block-2, Karachi, 5th.Sept.2015 Opening)